‘Even with all this, I could not live without kinkiness’. Kinky Understandings of Everyday Life.

Abstract

<p>In this article, we discuss the relationship of kink and everyday life and ask how kinky-identified individuals negotiate the relationship between kinkiness and everyday life in a society that stigmatises kink. We address kink as an everyday life experience through discussing authenticity, total power exchange, serious leisure, and escapism. We do not discuss merely kinky acts, such as BDSM play, but are also interested in the more mundane and implicit aspects of kink: those moments where nothing overtly kinky occurs. Our research material consists of 28 autobiographical writings by Finnish kinky-identified individuals. The writings depict various understandings of the ways everyday life and kink are intertwined such as experiencing kink as an authentic way of living, or as a deeper connection to one’s partner. Kink envelopes everyday life experiences and offers escape from the mundane. The kink community provides social connections, commitment, and active participation. Different forms of kink may present as crucial aspects in making everyday life enjoyable and meaningful for kinky individuals. Kink, thus, seems to have a multifaceted role in the everyday life of individuals, often enhancing the everyday life experience.<br></p>