Kinship Benefits and Penalties : How gender, parenthood, and relationship duration shape emotional closeness and conflict in intergenerational relationships

Abstract

This study examines how parenthood and relationship duration shape emotional closeness and conflict in intergenerational relationships, with particular attention to ties between partnered individuals aged 25 to 50, and their parents-in-law. Drawing on evolutionary theories of inclusive fitness and reproductive linking, as well as sociological perspectives on kin-keeping and intergenerational ambivalence, the analysis explores whether parenthood and time in partnership create both “kinship benefits” (greater closeness) and “kinship penalties” (greater conflict), and whether these dynamics differ for women and men. Using nationally representative survey data called Gentrans 2018 (n= 767), emotional closeness and conflict were measured separately in four dyads: own mother, own father, mother-in-law, and fatherin-law. Logistic regression models, estimated separately for women and men, assessed the associations of parenthood and relationship duration with in-law closeness and conflict. Respondents reported higher closeness and somewhat more conflict with their own parents than with their in-laws. Parenthood significantly increased women’s emotional closeness to in-laws but showed no comparable effect for men. In contrast, longer partnership duration strongly predicted men’s closeness and conflict with mothers-in-law but had limited relevance for women. These findings highlight gender-specific pathways through which kinship ties evolve and demonstrate that emotional affinal relationships in Finland are shaped by both parenthood and relationship stability but the associations differ for men and women.